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User blog:Gliscor Fan/Epic Rap Battles: Pokemon vs History Nurse Joy vs Florence Nightingale
Welcome back to another brand new episode of Pokemon vs History! Today, we have an actual itunes cover (with a less interesting logo than before), and title cards. Today's matchup is one that I did not think of until I learned who Florence Nightingale was and decided to do some research, and then realized I had my own series and there was a Pokemon character that would perfectly fit the connection. Though I take some cues from the games, this Nurse Joy will be mainly inspired by the anime. I do not remember anything else about what rules from the anime I've used in the past, so they're gone now. Whatever. Anyway, the connection is nursing, so here we go! INTRO EPIC RAP BATTLES POKEMON VS HISTORY VERSUS BEGIN! BATTLE Nurse Joy: Welcome to the Pokemon center, may I heal your wounds? Or are you just trying to escape the death of your platoons Like you escaped the funds of your parents' immense wealth And refused to get married for your own mental health Damn Florence! Your abhorrence belongs in a machine I know you take no excuses so why don’t you come clean At the Pokemon Center, We’ll restore your well-being So you can go back to war with the Cri-MEAN You're shown as a joke in half of your plays As you lay in a bed for the rest of your days Now, before I pass the mic to you, here’s my diagnosis It’s ironic for a nurse to have contracted brucellosis Florence Nightingale: The tales of war are never fun to share But you stared Mewtwo in the face, so why don’t ya grow a pair! I never wanted to trouble you, and my parents didn’t care That my work was helping people like a breath of fresh air But you couldn’t help anyone out on a dare You put pokemon in a machine and they’re healed, there You and all your sisters could come and pull up a chair And let the lady with the lamp give you some actual care Call me Baymax, I’ll check your health and be squared As well as the health of your pokemon you fared! I respect that your check-ups are pretty much free Because that’s the way all health care should be But my work inspired hospitals, don't be a diva And don’t try to pick a fight with the Angel of Crimea! Nurse Joy: An Angel? Bitch, you’re more like a succubus If the succubi were treating disease to scratch that itch While she waits in a church she doesn’t want to be in, And disregarded all the shit in any organised religion Like a statistician who only knows her way around a graph Then treating her parents like crap on her behalf My Chansey and I will still help whoever needs it, kay? And I’ll treat my sisters better than you treated Vernay! Florence Nightingale: You should pick up a book, cause that research is crap But in the end, let me go ahead and give you some stats A 100% chance this rap will end with my win As I inject a verbal needle directly into your skin With a fraction of a chance to cure that bad verse And show you what it takes to be a real nurse Plus, when it comes to training nurses, there isn't any other Since you couldn't get anywhere in time to save Cubone's mother OUTRO WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLES Ow, that's really sharp... POKEMON VS HISTORY! poll Who Won? Nurse Joy Florence Nightingale Hint for next time Category:Blog posts